My Confession...

For the past two weeks I've been skipping assignments, showing up late to class, putting off important tasks, losing sleep and feeding my current addiction. What is it you ask... Porn, Wedding Porn to be more specific. No seriously, it is a real thing. I can't stop! I can't turn my eyes away from it! And I've come to realize all of my friends are doing the same thing. Every since I've learned to click and drag pictures, I've been storing up a file filled with pictures, clips, projects, ideas, and inspirations for my future wedding. Now that the future is an ever present reality, I've discovered it's an addiction. The beautiful dresses, the lights, the decor, the fantasy of perfection is so alluring. Now Michael and I have two very different views when we look at these pictures. Michael thinks material consumerism at the sake of the institution of marriage. I on the other hand see someone's dream put into reality. I think the biggest challenge for me with this wedding is to realize that at the end of the day, nothing matters as much as I think it does in the moment. At the end of the time, the six goals Michael and I have created are what we believe the most important and meaningful. A dress from David's Bridal doesn't fall in line with those beliefs or goals, and neither does my Wedding Porn addiction.

• Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable